Rattle The Pages: Marieke Nijkamp

Review // Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Monday, January 22, 2018

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Publication Date: January 2nd, 2018

Rating: 3 Stars

Source: Netgalley

Format: eARC

Pages: 358

Add it on Goodreads!

Summary (from Goodreads):

Best friends Corey and Kyra were inseparable in their snow-covered town of Lost Creek, Alaska. When Corey moves away, she makes Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return.

Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated―and confused. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones about the town's lost daughter, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger.

Corey knows something is wrong. With every hour, her suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets―chilling secrets. But piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter...

**I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review**

I was excited to read BEFORE I LET GO because I really enjoyed Marieke's debut novel, THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS. Unfortunately, I didn't like this book as much as I liked her first one. It was okay, but I felt like it got repetitive and weird.

Corey and Kyra have been best friends forever. They grew up together in Lost Creek, Alaska and they always had each other. When Corey's mom accepts a job in Winnipeg, she has to move away. Corey promises to come back and Kyra promises to wait. But Kyra dies by apparent suicide just before Corey is to come back. Corey spends her trip trying to figure out why no one did anything to help Kyra when the signs were clearly there.

I liked the main characters. Corey very clearly cared deeply about Kyra. They seemed like they were super tight. I liked Kyra as well. I felt so bad for her. That town was so toxic for her. And for no one to help you when you're clearly calling out for help? I hate that town. I feel like I can't really say that much about them because I feel like you don't get to know them beyond their relationship with each other.

I feel like I was kind of invested in the mystery of what REALLY happened to Kyra for about half of the book. I get that this book is basically about Corey figuring out what happened to her best friend, but this book doesn't have A N Y T H I N G else going on in it. If it were shorter or there was something else happening in this book, maybe I would have liked it better. I mean, I wanted to know what the heck really happened to Kyra too, but having the same thought processes and types of conversations going on over and over throughout the whole book got old.

There isn't any romance in this book, but Corey is described as asexual in the book and Kyra as pansexual. There is also an m/m couple in the book.

I think the thing that I disliked the most about this book was the way the town was portrayed. In general, I hate the way small towns are portrayed in books. They're always either super creepy or literally everyone in the town needs to get a hobby.

This town was super creepy. Lost is a town far away from any other sort of civilization in Alaska. They are tight knit and don't take kindly to outsiders. They treated Kyra like an outsider because of her bipolar disorder. They treated her really crappily. When Corey comes back from being gone for seven months, she is treated like an outsider as well. She spent her WHOLE life there before she moved, which wasn't even something in her control, but apparently that was unforgivable.

But probably the weirdest thing about this town was they way they collectively reacted to Kyra after Corey left. They finally accepted her, but treated her like some kind of prophet. She painted to burn off energy during her manic episodes and started painting scenes that actually came to be. So when she ended up painting a picture that depicted her own death, the town didn't do anything about it. They said that it was meant to be, it was her time. They just LET it happen.

I don't understand why this book needed the whole magical paintings thing? Like I don't understand, there was no explanation for this or mentions of magical happenings in other parts of the world. I feel like there was enough going on with this town and what led up to Kyra's death without adding in this magical realism element.

This book is told mostly during present day from Corey's point of view. There are also flashbacks to before Kyra died and before Corey moved to bits and pieces of their friendship. There are also phone calls and then a few scenes in the book are written in almost like a play format. I didn't understand the point of this, I personally didn't think they added anything to the book. It felt like they were just ways to unnecessarily drag out scenes that could have been over much more quickly.

Overall, I feel kind of meh about this book. I liked the main characters and was curious to know what happened to Kyra. But it was just a little bit too weird for me. I didn't understand the magical realism elements and I felt like it was unnecessary. If you like thrillers or magical realism, you might like this. If you enjoyed Marieke's debut, this could be worth a read. It just wasn't for me.

Have you read BEFORE I LET GO yet? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments!

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp Excerpt + GIVEAWAY

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Today is the release date for BEFORE I LET GO by Marieke Nijkamp! I have not gotten a chance yet to read this one, but I did read her debut, THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS, last year and I loved it! I am so excited to read this one and I think you should be too! I have heard nothing but good things about it!

BEFORE I LET GO by Marieke Nijkamp

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Publication Date: January 2nd, 2018

Pages: 368

Add it on Goodreads!

Summary (from Goodreads):

EXCERPT:

STRANGERS, TRAITORS, GHOSTS

I open the door and jump out of the plane as soon as we land on the narrow strip. The concrete shocks my knees and I stretch in the freezing cold air. I expect to find Mr. Henderson’s 4x4 waiting for me, or Sheriff Flynn, maybe. Instead, a lone figure stands against the rising sun. With the light at her back, I can only see her silhouette—-a tall, gangly figure whose long hair dances in the wind. She raises a hesitant hand.

My heart skips a beat. Kyra. Without thinking, I start toward her, her name on the tip of my tongue.

Then the light clears. Her nose is smaller. Her hair lighter.

And the shout of recognition dies in my throat.

Piper Morden.

Not Kyra.

I forgot. Now I ache to forget again.

Behind me, the pilot disembarks. He grabs my backpack and hands it to me. “Your return flight is booked. Be here on time. See you in five days.”

So little time, but it has to be enough. “I’ll make sure of it. Thank you.”

The man hesitates, then says, “Be careful in Lost Creek. Not everything is as it seems here.”

Before I can reply with a simple, I know. We’ve always gone our own way, he turns on his heels with military precision and stalks back to the plane. I head toward Piper, who smirks. Plenty of people don’t understand our closed community, our way of living. We’re all used to odd comments like these.

Piper wraps her arms around me. She’s never done so before, but I cling to her. She’s strong and familiar. She smells of winter and home. “Hey, big city girl.”

“Hey.”

“How was your flight?”

“It was good. Quiet. Early.” Strange.

“I can only imagine.” Her smile fades. “Mr. H has a business meeting, so he asked me to pick you up. We’re glad you’re here. Kyra would’ve liked that.”

That’s new. These last few years, Piper never considered Kyra’s feelings, and now that she’s dead doesn’t seem like the right time to start.

I sling my backpack over my shoulders, wondering how to phrase this question without sounding accusatory. “What can I expect here, Piper? I know Kyra wasn’t exactly…loved.”

Piper stiffens, as if I’d slapped her. Then she flicks a wayward lock of hair out of her face. “Do you think us so cold that we wouldn’t mourn her?”

“No, but—-”

“Things changed after you left.”

“Nothing ever changes in Lost Creek,” I say, out of habit. The only way to mark the passage of time here is by the aging of the children. They grow older, as they’re meant to, every birthday the start of a new year. The adults somehow appear to stop aging, and the elderly stop counting the years altogether.

Piper’s mouth quirks up, twisting her face into a harsh grimace. “Never mind. You’ll come to understand.”

“Understand what?” I ask, but Piper has already turned away from me.

“We take care of our own here. You ought to know that.”

I trek after her and regret not changing into my bunny boots. My sneakers are fit for traveling, but not for withstanding miles of snow. The cold bites.

At least I’ve arrived with the sun. When Piper and I turn away from the airstrip, toward Lost, bright light peeks out over the horizon. Anticipation takes over and the churning in my stomach settles. I breathe. This is home. The zingy smell of ice in the air. The snow, layered over the permafrost, that crunches beneath our feet.

Amid the gentle hills and pine--tree forests lies the town of Lost Creek. Our small, private universe. From our vantage point, it looks tiny, like a collection of dollhouses rather than a place where people live.

But it is home.

Welcome home.

Piper leads me, as if I didn’t know my way around. We walk along the single road toward Main Street, one of a grand total of five streets in Lost Creek. It’s also the town’s busiest street.

On any given day of the week, Main would be crowded. Even in the middle of winter, this is the day when gossip gets shared and the grocery store and the physician’s pharmacy are stocked, when fishermen return from their camps along the creek with their catch.

But today is different.

The grocery store is closed. The street is abandoned. Well--cared--for houses are the only assurance that people actually live here. Fresh paint makes the town look newer than I’ve ever seen it. When I left, the houses were weather--worn and lived--through, perennially smudged with sleet and mud. Today, they are pristine. A dash of color sidles up the wall of the old post office, though from this angle, I can’t make out the design. It’s as if, with Kyra gone, Lost had painted over all its cracks and creases.

“What happened here?” I ask.

“Hope,” Piper says, quietly. She reverently touches a ribbon that’s tied around a gate. “And remembrance.”

I raise my eyebrows. “What does that mean?”

Piper doesn’t answer, but now I notice that the ribbons are everywhere, tied around every flagpole and every door handle. Bows in magenta and black—-Kyra’s favorite color and the color of mourning. It’s like Lost is demonstrating its sorrow. But we’ve never made our grief public, beyond funeral gatherings. When Kyra’s grandfather passed away, the town honored him with a somber service. And he was liked by everyone.

It must be a coincidence.

“Look, I’m sorry if you thought I was being harsh before,” I try. “I just want to understand what happened to Kyra.”

Piper shakes her head. Her gaze searches Main. I have no idea what she’s looking for, but I glance surreptitiously over my own shoulder. We’re as alone as we were the moment we stepped into town. The street is empty, but the sunlight isn’t as bright here. The shadows are longer and darker.

“You’ll find out,” Piper says. “Someday, you’ll understand.”

The wind picks up, weaving around the houses and whispering.

Stranger.

Traitor.

Outsider.

The words float in the same tune as the girl’s at the airport, soft and out of reach. I swirl around, but no one’s there.

I pull at the straps of my backpack to cinch it closer and fall into step with Piper, who keeps a firm pace. She doesn’t seem to mind the wind. Or maybe she doesn’t hear it.

At the turn that leads to my old house, I pause. Piper grabs my hand and pulls me in the other direction.

“I promised Mrs. Henderson I would take you to her as soon as you arrived, but once you’ve settled in, you should walk over.” Her voice is neutral.

We follow a side street until we reach a large, nineteenth--century townhouse on the edge of the creek. It’s the biggest plot of land in Lost, barring the spa outside the town’s borders. When settlers arrived in Lost Creek, Mr. Henderson’s great--grandfather was the first to find gold here—-and his grandfather, the last. Over the years, the Henderson family had built a legacy of industry and investment. And although Mr. Henderson hasn’t been able to reopen our mine, it’s only right that their house reflects their status.

But while the house may appear imposing to outsiders, to Kyra and me, it was home. And now it’s in mourning. I drop my backpack and gape.

The gate and flagpole are covered with black ribbons. On either side of the driveway, small flowers lie strewn across the snow. Bright pink salmonberry flowers. They’re the same flowers the girl at the airport held. They’re the same flowers Kyra used to scatter around town.

I squint. No, not blossoms, but flowers made of magenta ribbons, like the ones that hang on Main Street. They remind me of Kyra’s paintings from her manic periods—-not quite real enough, but still too close for comfort.

Maybe, just maybe, life is still a little unpredictable here.

“He was right, you know.” Piper’s words are so soft, they don’t immediately register.

“Who?” I ask.

“The pilot. Not everything is as it seems. I’ll see you at the service, if I don’t see you before then. Come find me if you have questions.” She starts back toward Main.

“Piper?”

She pauses and turns. “Yes?”

My stomach roils. Wait. Don’t leave me. I can’t face Kyra’s absence yet. Let me cling for one more moment to the world I used to know.

I hesitate. “Tell Tobias that Luke said hi?”

At this, Piper smiles again, but I know it’s not for me. “Of course.”

Although Piper and I were friendly, we were never as close as our brothers. When Mom spent long days in Fairbanks and the surrounding towns seeing patients, I would often stay with Kyra, and Luke with Tobias. Luke had been furious when he found out that I’d made plans to come back to Lost to see Kyra without him. To see Kyra.

Before.

She knew I was coming. How could she not wait for me?

GIVEAWAY:

The giveaway is for a Wake Up Call Gift Basket from Alaska Wild Berry Products.

Ends 1/31

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/54ca7af7616/

Marieke Nijkamp a storyteller, dreamer, globe-trotter, geek. She's the author of THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS and the forthcoming BEFORE I LET GO.

Her short stories can be found in: PILGRIM PLAYWRIGHT GENIE GUARD, FERAL YOUTH, and THE RADICAL ELEMENT.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Twitter:

Instagram:

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/marieken

https://www.facebook.com/sourcebooks/

Have you read BEFORE I LET GO yet? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments!

Review: This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

Monday, December 7, 2015

Publisher: SourceBooks Fire

Publication Date: January 5th, 2015

Rating: 5 Stars

Source: eARC From Netgalley In Exchange For An Honest Review

Pages: 292

Add it on Goodreads!

Summary (from Goodreads):

10:00 a.m.
The principal of Opportunity, Alabama's high school finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.

10:02 a.m.
The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.

10:03
The auditorium doors won't open.

10:05
Someone starts shooting.

Told over the span of 54 harrowing minutes from four different perspectives, terror reigns as one student's calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival.

Wow, this book was completely heartbreaking. I'm not even sure where to start. I'm just kind of at a loss for words. This book made me feel things I didn't want to feel.

This book is told from the points of view of four different characters inside and outside the school, Claire, Tomas, Sylvia, and Autumn. It is also told through flashbacks, tweets, text messages, and blog posts from various other characters involved somehow in the story.

I don't really want to do a huge recap of the story because since this book takes place over such a short timespan, I can't really say anything because I will definitely say too much. All you need to know is in the summary. And it's hard to really talk about the characters in depth because I don't feel like you really learn a whole lot about them. And I don't find that to be a bad thing. You learn a little bit through the flashbacks and such. All I know is that these characters were all incredibly brave in their own ways and they didn't just sit idly by and let things unfold. They did what they could.

This book is tough to read. It's so heartbreaking and terrifying. It's hard to imagine that someone could be so heartless to take their anger and problems out on so many innocent people just because they felt wronged by a few people. The story is told slowly, but it never felt slow or boring.

This book has a cast of diverse characters. It portrays sexually and racially diverse characters as well as a character with a disability. It shows some strong friendships, relationships, and family ties. It shows bravery in the face of almost certain death.

After finishing this book, it got me thinking, when I was in high school, there was a boy a grade above me who got expelled for threatening to bring a gun to school. After I was dropped off at school one day along with my sister and my cousin, my cousin told me that the boy had told him that he was planning to bring a gun. And that he would give my cousin and a few other people notes the day before telling them to stay home the next day. I told my friends that and they told some people who eventually told the principal and that's as far as it went. But it's so scary to know that something horrible like this could have possibly come of it!

Overall, I would recommend this book! I will almost certainly be buying this book when it comes out! It was so good and I am super excited to see what else this author comes out with! I didn't say a whole lot in this review, but I wouldn't want to spoil anything for you! I hope that you'll check this book out in January!

***

Between now and January 5th, the publisher is giving away custom "TIME WAS OURS" lanyards, as well as a chance for one person to win a Polaroid Digital Instant Print Camera!

There are two ways to enter this giveaway:

1. If you preorder a copy of This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp, submit your name, mailing address, email address, and order confirmation number in the rafflecopter below.

2. If you haven't preordered a copy of This Is Where It Ends, you can still enter the giveaway. Print your name, mailing address, email address, and the phrase "This Is Where It Ends" on a standard-size postcard and send it to:

Publicity

c/o Sourcebooks, Inc.

1935 Brookdale Rd., #139

Naperville, IL 60563

a Rafflecopter giveaway