Get Up Offa That Slump: Bash That Book

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Today for the Blogging Extravaganza hosted by Rachel at Beauty and the Bookshelf, I will be attempting to write a book bash without naming the book or anything that could totally give it away. Let's see if I can do it!


Okay, so this is going to be a bash for a book that I read at the beginning of 2015 and I REALLY had a hard time reading it. I ordered this book because the synopsis sounded really interesting and the cover was very pleasing to the eye. But as soon as I ordered it, I saw someone saying DON'T BUY THIS BOOK! Then I checked Goodreads and knew I had probably made a mistake. But I gave it a chance anyway.

First of all, the book revolves around a group of people with a specific job that seems to be polar opposite between the definition and the actual practice of the job. They are meant to be protectors of the weak and wronged, but seem more like glorified vigilantes gone wrong.

The main group of characters is just finishing their training and all but one of them passes the final test. As the others are getting ready to take the sacred oath, their parents are all trying to tell them to just not. Why would they let their children spend their entire lives training to be in this profession and then RIGHT at the end, tell them to pass on the opportunity? Why not just forbid them to do it? It makes a lot more sense than letting them waste all those years training. They don't heed the warnings of their parents and take the oath and find that being what they were training to be isn't the life they thought they would live. When they take their first assignment, there is no explanation as to what actually happened during it or what they went there to do and why as far as I remember. But they can't back out now or they'll have to die.

These people have the stupidest method of transportation in the world and I don't even know how to go into a description of it.

Then there is a group of other people who are basically like glorified vigilante police. They are only to intervene in glorified vigilante business if something needs to be set right, but do you think that stops them from sticking their noses in where it doesn't belong? Nope.

The glorified vigilantes go on more assignments that you as the reader aren't apparently allowed to know about (so why even mention it???) while the failed glorified vigilante sulks about failing his training and plots his revenge against the instructor. So he takes a few armed men to the place where the other glorified vigilantes live and burns it to the ground looking for something that he thinks belongs to him. He claims he's not there to hurt people, but then he shoots people and kills someone with the most ridiculous weapon I've ever read about in my entire life.

He spends the rest of the book chasing down the girl he wronged and threatening violence against her despite the fact that I think he still wanted to be with her??? I don't even know. He's so backwards. The item that he is searching for is something he can't use without proper vigilante training to he is basically trying to use her to use this stupid magic warping device. 

The weapon of choice of this group of glorified vigilantes is the most convenient weapon in the history of ever. You basically hold it and it can turn into any kind of sword or knife that you want just by simply thinking it into being. It's even so strong that it can cut through metal! AND HAS A HANDY TRAINING MODE! Handy so you won't kill your friends! Honestly, just the explanation of this stupid weapon was almost enough to make me want to stop reading this book.

And the main character ends up getting with her cousin I think? Because her boyfriend is some psycho who keeps pointing guns at her and her cousin who has been pining after her forever finally looks good enough or something. I don't remember.

So basically the namesake of this book and what these characters were training to be is completely thrown out the window and set aside and just everything about this book felt like a huge joke to me. It's part of a series and I will 100% not be finishing it. Ever.


Okay, so after re-reading what I have written, this really doesn't feel like much of a bash. None of it is positive, but I feel like I could have done better. Like I said, I read this book last year so I really don't remember a LOT of what happened except that I didn't like any of it. I had written a review of it in a notebook when I read it because I was planning to start a blog at that point, but didn't get around to it for awhile. So since I never posted this review on my blog, I just changed the important words to keep the book's identity a secret. If you want to see something that feels a lot more like a bash, wait til my review of Sword and Verse posts. I half liked that book and it feels like way more of a bash than this does.

Can any of you guess what book I was talking about??


  1. I can not name the book, but with a little backtracking of reviews I have read lately I would be able to figure it out because I read a couple of (bad) reviews that talked about that weapon. So you ere not alone in your dislike. :)

    1. Yeah, before I bought this one I should have read reviews because when I finally did look, they were all terrible! I was SO sad because the cover was so pretty! But I guess I've learned my lesson. Goodreads is always your friend! :)


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